I just recently started an online book discussion of Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge. You're welcome to join us at
If you've got a few minutes, I'll share with you what I learned from Chapter 1.
Women stuggle with feeling like I am not enough and I am too much at the same time. Feeling like that takes us to our deepest fear of being abandoned. Do you all struggle with that too? Feeling like you’re not worth effort for others to pursue a relationship with because you’re just too you? That if we were better women that life wouldn’t be so hard?
We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought– that no one has the passion or courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel uncertain– uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or ever will be.
As I read that, I realize that all of those messages are spiritual attacks – meant to keep us fighting with failure, instead of seeing ourselves as created in God’s own image as a woman to reflect God’s heart.
What does every woman long for? What will make her feel alive?
-To be romanced
-To play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure
-To unveil beauty.
I think we can all relate to wanting to be romanced. We don’t all want the same kind of romance, but what we want is to feel desired, to be pursued by one who loves you and to be someone’s priority.
Next they talked about how women want adventure, but more than that, we want to be in an adventure with others. Oh yeah. That’s true for me. I couldn’t even just read the book alone without wanting to share this journey with others. I always want to have a friend “help” me when I’m trying to tackle a project. I much prefer to share the time with others.
Then they get to that whole beauty thing. I could really see what they were saying when they talked about how little girls love playing dress up and being the princes and how we continue with that by dressing up for proms, weddings, and special events later. Hello – maybe that’s why some people do beauty pageants? They are actually willing to risk losing, just to have the opportunity to dress up and unveil their beauty to others. Some of us have just about pulled out of the game. It’s not much fun to keep trying if you feel like you’ll never measure up. We can’t all go get an Extreme Makeover. But when we think of our beauty as being an inward, as well as an outer beauty, I think we see God’s loving hand. He created each of us and we are beautiful to Him. He’s sees us through Jesus. I’m pretty sure that if we could all live daily truly resting in His love, we’d feel a lot more beautiful. He was willing to pursue us, fight for us and was willing to die for us. He is our hero.
Finally they talked about how all of our desires and men’s desires were created to fit together.
*Men want a battle to fight and we want to be fought for.
*Men long for adventure and we want to have an adventure with them.
*He wants a Beauty to rescue and we want to be his Beauty.
When those work together, it makes us draws out our feminine strength and beauty and we inspire his strength and desire to be a hero. Wow! Doesn’t that sound a lot more wonderful than the everyday bickering and insecurities we deal with? When those desires go unmet or are abused, many of us quit trying, deny that we even have those needs or try to cover the pain with other things. But no matter how we respond, that need is still there. God placed it in us. So with this book hopefully we can learn a few things and heal a few things so that we can rest in the way God created women to be – glorious, powerful and captivating!